Hawghauler
Cruisin' Guzzisti
I think bikers are basically disturbed masochists with different flavors of pain preference. Almost like clothes pins versus hot wax. Example:
Harley owner: Buy it, immediately throw away seat, handle bars, exhaust, computer and spend the next five years buying different options that are the latest and greatest in every magazine. Constantly change out chrome doohickeys made in China that when bolted on to your sled give you instant bragging rights to call your bike custom. Run to the tattoo parlor and get painfully inked repeatedly whilst eating a box of bon bons to get belly bigger so you can look meaner, macho and badass while you waddle around the biker bar full of like-minded individuals, when your actual nature is gentle and non-confrontational if not blatantly introverted.
European bike owner: Buy it, ride it, push it home, ferret out paths in wiring diagram, get on forum, ask WTF is the reason my “fill in the blank” is not “fill in the blank”. Collective minds come together solve conundrum, everyone runs out and checks “fill in the blank” on their bike praying to the baby Jesus theirs requires said wrenching which creates a rush of serotonin to the pleasure centers.
Japanese bike owner: Buy it, ride it, hate it, realize it looks like a plastic model of Justin Bieber’s hair, decide to trade it and find out the value is immediately in the trade in cesspool and experience the pain and suffering associated with losing money on a bike that makes chicks think you are into interior design and your other wheels surely must be a Subaru.
Harley owner: Buy it, immediately throw away seat, handle bars, exhaust, computer and spend the next five years buying different options that are the latest and greatest in every magazine. Constantly change out chrome doohickeys made in China that when bolted on to your sled give you instant bragging rights to call your bike custom. Run to the tattoo parlor and get painfully inked repeatedly whilst eating a box of bon bons to get belly bigger so you can look meaner, macho and badass while you waddle around the biker bar full of like-minded individuals, when your actual nature is gentle and non-confrontational if not blatantly introverted.
European bike owner: Buy it, ride it, push it home, ferret out paths in wiring diagram, get on forum, ask WTF is the reason my “fill in the blank” is not “fill in the blank”. Collective minds come together solve conundrum, everyone runs out and checks “fill in the blank” on their bike praying to the baby Jesus theirs requires said wrenching which creates a rush of serotonin to the pleasure centers.
Japanese bike owner: Buy it, ride it, hate it, realize it looks like a plastic model of Justin Bieber’s hair, decide to trade it and find out the value is immediately in the trade in cesspool and experience the pain and suffering associated with losing money on a bike that makes chicks think you are into interior design and your other wheels surely must be a Subaru.